Me-We-Me-We

This is a very delicate relationship between "we" and "me" in determining one to be a Grade A leader or Grade B and C. I think it's somewhat so real as I feel these changes occurring in phase deeply within myself over the last few months.

These are the 4 essential phases in shaping one into a leader. And the border line between 2 phases is so subtle that most of people might fail to notice. Some might have even gone through all these 4 phases without realizing it at all.

Let's take a simple example and you will know what I'm trying to say.

Everyone has ego. When new thing's introduced to you, you might think that it challenges your comfort zone. So the first thing that strikes your mind is NO. It's normal anyway. Not much worries. This is true when you're in a new community or organization. You find it very hard to blend yourself into the new environment. You retain the element "Me".

When time goes by, you adapt yourself gradually to the community and to a certain level, you will develop an intrinsic sense - sense of belonging. You feel that you're part of the community and you will always put the benefits of the community in front of you. Most of the people will remain at this stage because it's always fun to work with a bunch of your friends. Not much responsibilities in this level.

Somewhat in every community, there will be always someone to offer himself or herself to take the leadership role. They want to contribute. They think that they could actually do something for the community. But there's always a specific norm in our community that when such person offers himself, there will be murmur behind the scene. "His face's so thick-lah", "people don't choose him, he offers himself" etc. Is this bad? Those who are not that mentally strong will be scared away as they always want to be accepted by his own group, trying not to be odd. But this is where opportunity comes in (as I mentioned in my last post). These people who offer themselves are termed as leaders.

But again, somehow when you are alone at different level, you see things with your limited perspective as most of the time your mental activity works in your own style. Egoism unfolds again. So your perspective tends to be originated from only one point - you. If a person remains at this phase for too long time, he will develop into a kind called dictator. Yup, they are leaders too but not everyone favors this kinda leader.

If one's exposed enough to the external stimuli, then he will slowly realize that his previous style might not work anymore as he thinks that he could not work based solely on his own perspectives anymore but team's perspective. He needs to work as a team. He needs to work for the people. At this phase, the element "we" will be growing stronger and stronger as the element "me" diminishes. He will then start to inspire people rather than just leading the team. And that is the most important quality of a real leader. He inspires.

Me-We-Me-We is a forward process but it doesn't happen spontaneously. It is much dependent on one's mindset, exposure and also his internal filter system - positive thinking. Positive person sees opportunity in every difficulty whereas negative person sees dead end.